


To Love Apollo

by TheWeepingAngelOfCas



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Makeup, Original work - Freeform, Other, Poetry, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, apollo - Freeform, icarus - Freeform, original - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27883186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWeepingAngelOfCas/pseuds/TheWeepingAngelOfCas
Summary: An original poem that I wrote for my creative writing class. It's one of the first poem's I've written that I've actually kinda liked, so I decided I'd post it here. It's not amazing, but I like it.A poem about beauty, self-exploration, and self-discovery.
Relationships: n/a
Kudos: 1





	To Love Apollo

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoy! This will probably be the only original work (as in something that's not based off of a fandom) that I put on here, but I'm proud of it, so enjoy.

The first time I felt beautiful, I was 12 years old.

My parents had gotten me cheap makeup from the local megamart, 

And when I put it on, my foundation was 4 shades too dark for my skin,

And my lipstick was an unflattering shade of bright fuschia.

But despite all of that,

Looking back in the mirror,

I wanted to look like that forever.

Because beauty was something I could never fully grasp,

Like Icarus, falling from the sky,

Waxy feathers floating past his fingers like prayers,

His salvation, so close but so far away.

Just outside of his reach.

From that night on,

I stayed up til dawn

Applying and reapplying cosmetics until my skin was red,

And my eyes wouldn’t stop tearing up from the makeup remover.

But I didn’t care.

Because I felt like those girls on Instagram,

Showing off for all of the world to see,

Completely flawless, devoid of imperfections and sin,

So beautiful,

So perfect.

The world I wanted to be in,

But was too far away and scared to be a part of,

Felt almost attainable. 

Sometimes, the mirror is my enemy

Screaming slurs in my ears when I walk by.

My body too fat,

My thighs too wide,

Stupid and ugly and overweight.

I’m vulnerable and scared, 

Despite the fact that the only danger is from myself. 

But when I’m in front of a vanity,

Varying powders on my top,

And eyeshadow like mulberry wine dusting my eyelids,

The slurs become praise,

Stroking my hair,

And whispering in my ear.

_Perfect._

_Beautiful._

_Pretty._

I am Icarus,

Who dared to love Apollo,

And flew too close to the sun.

Only for it to be my end.

The mirror glows bright,

Like the star in the daytime sky.

My salvation and my damnation,

Fighting in my head.

**Fat.**

_Pretty._

**Ugly.**

_Stunning._


End file.
